Thinking to Myself

Does the way I think, and therefore speak to myself affect my dialogue with my students? Absolutely. As a teacher it is easy to feel discouraged, and defeated. In grad school you don't learn how to stop the waves of emotions that hit you when a student seems to just not get it, no matter how much you differentiate.  You are not prepared for the hurt and heartbreak that children face, that fall in waves. A bad day is unusually bad. But somehow in the midst of it all comes this unspeakable strength to stand.

• You find yourself able to stand when the teaching is not working out the way you imagined.
• To stand and be a pillar of hope when a child is crying, and you wish you could take the pain. 
• You find a way to stand when everything that lies before you seems impossible. 

I think that grace to stand comes from the truth of how we talk to ourselves. It starts in the pit of our hearts, with our belief systems. Systems that become readily apparent when we open our mouthes. Systems that build up others or insidiously destroy, because they are founded on foundations of falsehood. Those false things are often based on the binaries of: 

• ability/(dis)ability 
• black/white 
• smart/not smart 
• rich/poor ​

and the list goes on.  As a teacher, I find that the most important thing I can do is take the time to reflect.  I think about how I think, and therefore speak. I love working with my students. I want their best everyday. I speak in my head about them in joyful terms. They are a delight to be around, and I hope that my words propel them forward in continuing to form positive identities in themselves.